Tag Archives: marriage

Happy 2nd Anniversary, Dearest Husband

16 May

I call my parents Mama and Papa. My husband call his parents Ibu and Bapak. My cousins call their parents Bunda and Ayah. My other cousins call their parents Umi and Abi.

I come from a big family who still stick together even after the elders were already passed away. And all of those great parents mentioned above are still alive. To avoid confusion, husband and I don’t want to be called the same with those great alive parents. 

What’s left for my husband and I is to be called as Mami and Papi by our kidMy mom called their parents Mami and Papi. My mom’s Mami and Papi were already passed away years ago. They are burried in the same tombstone, as husband and wife. 

My late grandpa and grandma’s tombstone


The truth is, it has been a blessed that I married to a family man. Husband really helps alot after Baby O was born. He does the house chorus if needed, takes care of Baby O when I’m busy, voluntarily spends time and plays with Baby O, most of the time he even cooks for me.

Husband doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do boy’s night out, doesn’t have any 2nd wife or 2nd girl friend that mommy has to compete with (very important! 😂). What can I ask more?

Hopefully, Mami Ori and Papi Ori will always be together until death do us apart, like my mom’s Mami and Papi. Aamiin 🙏🏻. Happy 2nd anniversary, Papi Ori 😘. Love you, always ❤️

Our 2nd anniversary dinner in Shaburi, Grand Indonesia

Fear of Adulthood: Peter-pan Generation

24 Sep

There are two kind of people in their earlier stage of life, those who couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult, and those who doesn’t want to grow up and remain as a kid. Which ever they choose to believe in, will resulted much later in their future life, the adult time.

Many people believe young adult should live separately from their parents, especially after graduated from senior high school. It will be best to attend college in different city from parents’ house, so the young adult could experience the real independency.

That includes living in a dorm or in a rented house with friends. That includes cooking their own meal, washing their own clothes, paying parts of their own bill. Including part time work to start paying student loan, remembering how expensive it is, in US for example.

Couldn’t blame those who didn’t want to grow up when they were still a little kid. Perhaps, they are actually the visionaory one because in fact aldulthood is not easy. And they could predict it years before they enter the adult life, that’s pretty amazing.

Problem comes when the young adult who don’t want to act according to their age, that they want to remain treated as a kid, in their twenties or thirties. Watch cartoon, read chicklit, play online games, are few of the symptopms. I personally believe young adult who mainly used their gadget to play games is part of this Peter-pan-generation, as daily mail called it (read here for more).

Adulthood is never about growing old. It’s about people who grow up and find their maturity towards financial things (carreer, mortgage) and family things (marriage, kids). People can have kids and be financially dependent to their parents in the same time. In the other hand, people could also be financially independent but clinging to their young life as long as possible, has no intention to settle down.

Naturally, people will grow old by the time being. To grow up being an adult and live in real life like Wendy is an option. We could also choose to act like a kid in our adult time and live like Peter pan in Neverland.

Our life, our choice.

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This post has been published in DVRG Magazine.

I Feel Old Already

16 Jul

So I shared a 9gag post to little sister. It tells us that in every creative adult, they bring along their childish part when they grow up. Hence, the creative adult. Because creative adult is the child who survived. It said, I agreed.

Then out of nowhere, she told me that she doesn’t want to grow up, because she doesn’t want to marry, soon. The reason she said that was because of this article in dailymail.

Hello? What’s the connection between growing up and marriage? Do we only counted as an adult when we marry? Since when growing up has everything to do with marriage?

Maybe a part of being an adult is to have a life partner and build a family with him/her. But even a teenager can marry someone, have a kid, and start a new family. Yes, in that right order if you know what I mean. 😉

20130826-091753.jpg
Picture Source

There’s a step before all that which is way much important, I think. That is to have a job and be financially responsible for own self. If possible, also for the dependents that we’re gonna carry when we build a family someday.

So if we’ve already financially responsible and want to start a family, then go ahead. Or if we’ve already financially responsible and want to pause for a long time, don’t want to pursue a further step yet, also go ahead.

Better if we don’t reverse the step, to have a family first, then find a decent job. Because we’ll bring trouble(s) to our parents. Unless, our parents are deeply stacked up with money for their descendents long after they gone, then I think it’s pretty much okay too.

Thanks for the random chit chat on a saturday morning, dear little sister. I’m still long before 25 years old, but I feel old enough already.

When Boys Say “We’re Over”

24 Aug

When commenting on our friend’s on-off relationship, I remember a friend of mine said,

“Whether or not a relationship will still be going on, mostly it depends on the guy. If the guy says, they’re over, no matter how hard the girl wants them to be in a relationship, it won’t happen. If the boy says, they aren’t over, no matter how bad the girl wants them to break up, they will still be an item”.

Based on this knowledge, I let a guy into my life. Correction, I thought he’s a guy, he’s actually still a boy, more or less. It’s not a bad thing though, if you want and or need more dramas in your life.

What’s the difference between them? When a guy says to his partner that their relationship is over, it really means they’re over. When a boy says so, he doesn’t really want them to be over, he just say the word of ‘over’ lightly, because… I don’t know. Can you please cooperate that with me?

It’s one funny thing, actually. Because when a guy says he’s over with his partner, he’ll move on. When a boys says so, he’ll ask his partner to be back to him, eventually, by the time being. So what does the boy really want? What does he really mean? I seriously have no idea.

Source: Flickr

When you’re in a relationship with that kind of guy, you’ll respect your relationship, and the guy more over, because the word of ‘over’ is sacred to both of you. As sacred as the word of ‘talak’ in a marriage, due to my religion. No matter how many the wife says that word, the marriage will still be going on. Different story if it’s the husband who says so.

When you’re in a relationship with that kind of boy, bless you girl. Please kindly share your experience with me. Do you also feel like having a relationship with a teenager, like I do?

P.S.: Dear you, I’ve accepted you the way you are, I’ve compromised enough with it. But I don’t think I can take that any longer, when it’s not worth trying. Because you don’t respect us, more over you don’t believe in me.

There’s no other guy, I do still love you. But I can’t be in an unhealthy relationship anymore. I’ve learned alot from you, it’s true like you said in your notes, that’s why I really thanked you for that. And I’m still thanking you, until now.

I’m done with having Teenage Dream as the soundtrack of my life in the past few months. Let’s grow up now. 🙂

Namanya Anggi

16 Feb

Pada postingan kali ini, izinkan saya menceritakan seorang teman masa kecil. Namanya Anggi (cowok). Layaknya adegan dalam komik Jepang, kami pernah berjanji, saat masih kecil, akan menikah saat sudah besar nanti.

Komik Jepang memang bukan bacaan untuk anak-anak.

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Di sela-sela kepenatan mengerjakan tugas akhir, saya masih menyempatkan diri untuk menonton serial tv hollywood, salah satunya Glee. Pada episod 8 (Furt) season 2, Ken menyatakan janjinya untuk menikahi Barbie suatu saat nanti sambil mengeluarkan sebuah cincin, cincin perjanjian. Barbie menjawab, “What are you, six?“.

Lucu. Dan unyu.

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Promise ring dan six years old kids membawa memori saya kembali ke masa SD, saat ada Anggi dan saya. Ikrar (baca: lelucon) tersebut diucapkan saat kami masih kelas 1 SD. Percayalah, kami bahkan belum mengerti konsep menikah.

Saat kelas 2 saya harus pindah ke kota lain. Belum canggihnya komunikasi pada masa itu, saya pun kehilangan kontak dengan Anggi. Saya tidak tau harus senang atau sedih atas kepindahan saya dan hilangnya kontak antara saya dengan Anggi. Dalam usia yang sangat muda sudah terikat pada satu orang.

Romantis, sekaligus menyeramkan.

Tentu saja saya yang sekarang ini tidak menganggap serius ikrar (baca: lelucon) masa kecil itu. Saya tidak tau mantan calon suami saya itu sekarang ada dimana dan bagaimana kabarnya. Saya bahkan akan sangat kaget kalau ternyata saya bukan satu-satunya yang masih ingat pada ikrar (baca: lelucon) tersebut.

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Namanya Anggi. Saya bahkan sudah tidak ingat nama panjangnya. Saya dan Anggi pernah berjanji, saat masih kecil, akan menikah saat sudah besar nanti. Janji seperti itu yang (sepertinya) boleh tidak ditepati.

Atau, janji seperti itu yang tidak boleh dengan gampangnya diucapkan.

A Talk About Marriage

5 Apr

Do you know what I hate the most about Indonesian Traditional Wedding Ceremonies which are unfortunately have been held quite a lot lately in my neighborhood? The musics. Not to mention the traditional clothes also. Oh I couldn’t imagine myself wearing those kind of clothes, never ever again. I had been foolishly wore the clothes when I was a kid, but that was all. No more me in traditional clothes I hope.

Minangnese Traditional Wedding Clothes

Javanese Traditional Clothes

Enough with clothes, lets back to the reason why I write this post. Yesterday, another traditional wedding ceremony had been held in my neighborhood, Sundanese traditional wedding ceremony to be exact. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t hope for the best to the newly wed couple, I do. I hope the couple would live happily ever after until death aparts. I’m really sorry to say this, but.. their music banged my ears yesterday and the day before.. all the time. Yes, not only at the day but also after midnight when people were supposed to sleep soundlessly. I couldn’t. Yeah.. thanks to the musics.

I admit that I don’t usually hear any kind of traditional musics and it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my cultures. I can hear those kind of musics, but please.. not to be heard all day two days long. I couldn’t sleep well eventhough I slept after Subuh (ha!). I slept only a while (just until before lunch) because once again, I could even heard the musics in my sleep. Beside I couldn’t turned my speakers on. If I did that, that would exactly mean I didn’t appreciate the ceremony. So I had to wear my headphones all the time, literally.

Talking about wedding, I couldn’t imagine myself caught in a marriage either, my marriage. It’s something that I haven’t thought of, though I also couldn’t imagine myself having a baby.

Am I strong enough to be the one?
Will I live to have some children?
– The Killers # Why Do I Keep Counting

Blessed them.